Reality.....bites.

So next time you think your life is down in the dumps, that nothing else could go wrong, you feel hopeless or that the whole world is taking a HUGE crap on you... just think about all the shitty (excuse my language, but this blog is going to be real, straight up, and blunt - sorry grandma.) things that have happened to me since I've been here... oh and even better, all the shitty things that have happened to me in the last 24 hours....Estan lista? (Are you all ready? In Spanish.)

So first off, lets go back to the beginning. I sat on a runway in Chicago for two and a half hours during a THUNDER STORM. I HATE THUNDER STORMS. I arrive in London with 40 minutes to connect to my flight to Barcelona, which should have been a three hour lay over. My luggage doesn't make it. Oh, and then, it doesn't come for three days. Yes, thats right ladies and gentlemen (although I don't think there are any gentlemen reading my blog...) I'm in a new country, a new continent, surrounded by a language, that I only speak a little of, without anything of my own. Sucks right? I felt I stayed pretty positive - other than my 5 minute sob fest with my father. I kept telling myself, "hey, this is the time of your life. There is nothing you can do but wait for your luggage so don't worry about it." Everyone who knew I lost my luggage kept telling me they couldn't believe how well I was handling the situation. So yay! Props to me!

After my luggage came I didn't think that anything else could go wrong, I was having a blast, enjoying being abroad and living my life... WRONG!!!!! Fast forward about four weeks to yesterday.... brace yourself, this might get a little intense...

So my computer was acting weird yesterday (Monday) morning. At one point the picture on my screen completely distorted and froze. I restarted my computer and everything seemed fine... so I turned on my iTunes and continued to get ready for class. All of a sudden my screen froze again and the song that was playing on iTunes started to skip... weird because songs on iTunes have no reason to skip, its not like they can get scratched or anything. So I decided to shut it off until I got back from class around 6. I came back and it seemed to be working fine. I happened to talk to my dad on the phone and mentioned that my computer had been acting weird. Umm... I spoke way too soon. Within 10 minutes my computer froze again and this time would not restart. Crap. After talking to the computer guy at Jayco, it was determined that I had a hardware malfunction, which is nothing that I did, its just something that was wrong with the computer and was jut now surfacing. Grrreeeaaatttt! So we checked out all our options and on the bright side my computer was still under warranty. But that means that I had to ship my computer home to get it fixed. Ok, ok, I can handle that. A week without my own personal computer, sure it blows but its not like I can't use my room mates or anything. I was staying pretty positive, no tears, just a little aggravating when I wanted to check my mail or facebook or listen to a song on iTunes and went for my computer and oh wait, its broke. But ok, I can deal with it.

Here is where it gets good. I recommend that if you need to take a break to pee or make some food this is where you should do it....

So my room mates and I signed up for a wine tasting class, which was tonight. We were on our way back, and walking down the stairs to the metro. Heres my metro routine - I keep my metro ticket in my wallet, I always take my wallet out of my purse, keep it decently close to my body as I get my ticket out and then slip it back into my purse. Well, tonight some very nice, sweet, considerate, gentleman, with the love of Jesus shinning so brightly out of him that it blinded me, decided he would take my wallet off (and literally out)i of my hands. WHAT?! Oh wait thats right, this guy was a down right a**hole (I did the stars so Grandma doesn't have a heart attack and I mean its more lady like right?) who needs a come to Jesus session and will definitely have some things to answer to on Judgment Day. Yes, my family and friends, I was robbed or pick pocketed (pick handed?) tonight. Reality bites. So everything I have, my credit card, debit card, license and 100 euros was in that wallet. Not to mention my pride, my sense of security, and my optimism... My friends would tell me later that I screamed and ran up a few stairs after him and then stopped. The only thing I remember is having my wallet in my hand and then looking at the "jerk" (I'm using quotes because I am thinking of a different word but don't want to shock you with my vocabulary) run off. And he was wearing a purple headband?! Seriously?! I mean come on Ash, you're better than that, getting robbed by a guy wearing a purple headband?! Ok, so my mom told me I need to quit being so hard on myself that its not my fault.

Welcome to the life of Ashley Nicole Bontrager. You think you k now but you have no idea. So after freaking out, being a little hysterical (Don't judge, you would be hysterical too if someone ripped everything you have from your hand, its traumatizing, not to mention life changing), calling my dad to cancel my cards, calling my school to let them know, and my room mates being amazing and comforting me, I calmed down....a little. We took the metro home, even though I felt so uncomfortable, so scared and violated- the whole way I had a death grip on my bag and my phone - which by the way, my crappy cell phone circa 1995 is the only thing I have left. And I'm shocked it didn't crumple under my grip. I pretty much kept my cool, as well as I could until we got back to the apartment. Then the tears started flowing - so much so that I even threw up everything I've eaten today because I was so upset that I got sick. Sweet. Good weight loss program right? Just kidding... don't worry. So I had about a 40 minute balling my eyes out, sobbing, barely able to catch my breath session. I called my mom hoping that would calm me, but all I wanted her to do was agree with me that my life sucked right now - she wouldn't so that made me mad too. Sarah got on the phone (Oh because those girls are loving life right now in Florida - not a care in the world. Yes, right now I am a little bitter.) and gave me her words of wisdom but I was still upset. So I had another 20 minute crying, feeling sorry for myself, sulking session and then talked to one of my amazing friends here - (Yes Crystal, its the one in the "Fayette" shirt. haha) who made me feel a ton better. Although reality still bites, I'm starting to feel more positive.... I said more, not completely.

So sorry for all of this negativity, but I think that I personally have been handling everything pretty well, especially for me. Its not really one thing in particular that I feel I am bitching about, its the combination of all three things. I hate not being in control and all of these things have ripped control right out from under me... or should I say my hands. - at least I still can make a joke or two. And writing this blog was such a release. It felt so good to get out my true feelings, without inhibitions. And hopefully you got some laughs (although I might think of you in a different way, laughing at my miseries....) So, my pessimistic state is over. I'm sure I'll randomly get upset again and shed a few tears but in the end everything will work out and there is nothing more I can do about it. I mean, other than sell my body for money so I can actually eat this next week... But I'll try to look on the bright side. I mean the good thing is, the "jerk" who took my wallet is going to have to pay in the end, although right now he's 100 euros richer... And don't worry, I'll be saying my prayers before I go to bed to ask God for forgiveness for all the nasty words and thoughts that ran through my head and out of my mouth during my little predicament tonight.

So to conclude, reality bites, sometimes (I told you I'm going to look on the bright side) but in the end, you have to roll with the punches and move on. There are always friends and family there to help you get through and hand you toilet paper to clean up the craps that life decides to take on you sometimes.