I don't want this to end.

I don't want to leave. Period. I'm not coming home, all the friends I've made are staying forever and we are going to live in our happy, Barcelona world. Ok?

Obviously I know that can't happen, but every time I think about how I have three weeks and two weekends left I about ball my fricken eyes out and want to run backwards really fast in hopes that it will make time go in reverse.

I can not believe that its almost over. It seems surreal. I can't even begin to put into words what this experience has meant to me. I've gone through so many emotions, dealt with so many different issues, internal and external and it has truly changed me. I personally feel I have grown up a ton and changed as a person. For instance, I now like eating sushi, tomatoes, cucumbers, and coffee. Haha, ok bad example, but those are little things that have changed in me. I feel more mature and way more independent. I always thought I was so independent and could do anything on my own... well now I lived in a huge city, in a different continent, where they speak a different language without knowing anyone when I arrived. AND I SURVIVED!

I attribute my changes and this experience to one, myself, I spent a lot of time re-evaluating myself, (CHEESY!!!!!!) and thinking about what I wanted in life and who I was as a person. And second I attribute my changes to everyone I've met and become close with. Every single person has challenged me in a different way and opened my eyes to new ideas, thoughts and perspectives. Something I will always cherish. Also, having the chance to see all the places I ventured to has opened my eyes and I now see that there is more to the world than the beaches in Florida and the tequila in Mexico. (Seriously, why do people in Indiana think that Florida is the greatest destination? Migrate somewhere else for the winter! haha )

Ok, enough of my self-growth crap and complaining about how I don't want this to be over... but I am warning you, I will not be a happy camper when I return. Sure I'm so ready to see all of you and I miss you all! But, reverse culture shock is worse than the culture shock I experienced over here, so I was told. For instance, I'm already sad at the thought that I won't be speaking Spanish. Weird! So, a little advice, don't cross me the wrong way the first few weeks I'm home. Got it!? Oh no..... it might already be starting..... haha just kidding. I know this sounds like I never want to come home and you might take it personally... I want you all to know that I am excited to see you, I just wish I could see you for about two weeks and then return here and live happily ever after in my little, study abroad, Barcelona world.

Here are the lyrics to a song that Mike showed me. It pretty much describes how I feel about my experience here.

3 x5 - John Mayer

I'm writing you to
catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
didn't have a camera by my side this time
hopping I would see the world with both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
just no more 3x5's Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me Today I finally overcame
tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to
lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's